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Reasons for the anti-boarding sentiment include misperceptions and even misinformation. When you envision a tearful six-year-old being left at school for nine months, it’s difficult to imagine a good outcome. Perhaps you remember hearing missionary speakers talking about being pressed into service as dorm parents because no one else was willing to serve. You may shudder at the idea of a harsh mission administrator dictating that parents must send their children to boarding school upon reaching a certain age.
Today’s reality is different. Young children rarely, if ever, attend boarding school. Usually children are at least in junior high, and are often high school age when they start boarding. Schools and mission agencies are proactive in selecting and training those who will minister as dorm parents. The Association of Christian Schools International (ACSI) offers boarding home accreditation, and together with Interaction provides ministry-specific prefield orientation for future boarding parents. Mission policies have also changed, and few require children to attend boarding school. Additionally, security issues in some places may make boarding preferable or even necessary.
During a recent visit to an international Christian school in Asia, Anne Jones found that some of her perceptions were incorrect. Anne serves as prefield orientation secretary for the International Ministries division of ACSI. How does your image of an MK dorm compare with the following descriptions from Anne’s journal?
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER BEEN in an international school dormitory. Keith and Rachelle invited me for Thanksgiving dinner. They are boarding parents to about ten high school aged kids plus their two kids, Trey and Sierra. This dorm is not segregated by age, gender or sponsoring mission but by siblings. Having siblings together seems to be really healthy and fosters more of a family-like atmosphere. I wonder if homesickness is prevented, knowing that your brother or sister is at the opposite end of the house, rather than all the way across campus at another dorm. It was interesting to watch the family dynamics in preparing the Thanksgiving dinner and traditions afterwards.
I WAS GREETED BY A VERANDAH FULL OF SHOES and followed the sound of voices and clamor of pans into the back of the house. The kitchen was small but comfortable. Rachelle’s eyes lit up when she saw me standing in the doorway. ‘Hey, come on in. It’s crazy in here, but there’s room. Do you want to help set the table?’ She introduced me and there were glimmers of welcome in the kids’ eyes. I smiled and started asking questions to get to know some of them. One of the girls and I began setting the table. It was a tight squeeze, but we made all the plates fit. It reminded me of family dinners back home when we filled the entire living room with tables and chairs and there was hardly room to maneuver.
RACHELLE CHATTED WITH ME as she stirred the mashed potatoes. I was surprised at the industrial kinds of pots they used, but then again, they don’t just feed their family of four. They seem to be pretty flexible and easy going, yet firm on the rules. It’s neat. You can see that the kids respect and love them. Trey and Sierra have a ball with the older kids and don’t seem to be jealous that they have to share their parents with lots of other kids.
RACHELLE HAD TO GO GET SOMETHING from their part of the house and showed me the part that is for their family only. I thought that the dorm was one big happy family, but it was much like the way my residence director at college was set up. They have their own apartment attached to the kitchen, providing the separation they need to maintain their own sense of family with Trey and Sierra. Of course, they’re always over in the dorm area when the dorm kids are around.
KEITH WAS SHUCKING CORN AND CLEANING POTS. Sierra sat down on a stool and watched the proceedings, helping her mom whenever she was needed. Soon the chaos wound down as trays of food and casserole dishes made their way to the table. Some of the guys came in from playing video games and we all sat down and prayed, thanking God for the special time of remembrance we as Americans share and that others can share with us. What a bounty! There was American food as well as some Asian food. The guys started teasing each other good-naturedly when I asked if they had girlfriends. A couple of the Chinese kids spoke to each other in their own language. It was dark by the time the meal ended. Some of the guys excused themselves and went back to playing video games, while others helped clean up.
MY FIRST CROSS-CULTURAL EXPERIENCE IN A DORM HAS BEEN FUN, eye-opening and surprisingly normal. I realized my perception of international boarding students was formed from the Amy Carmichael era—staid boarding homes where everything is under tight control, homesick kids and mostly American and British kids. These kids are normal. They play Nintendo or X box, they wear the same kinds of clothes other high schoolers wear, they joke around like normal kids, get to go swimming, and are not only American, but Chinese, Korean, British, Australian, etc. In some ways, I wish my dad had been a missionary and I was back in high school so that I could be a dorm kid. I feel at home with them—too bad I have to leave. I enjoyed my conversations with them over dinner and watching them interact with their dorm parents and the other kids. There’s a lot of fun and learning that takes place while growing up in a large family… even if it is a dormitory family.
Karen Wrobbel is assistant professor of education at Trinity International University in Deerfield, Ill.