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My friend teaches fresh-faced hopefuls to understand how to connect with diverse cultures as they prepare to go overseas on short-term missions projects. On the last night of the training he asks them to bring their backpack that they will take on the plane. The contents usually consist of a portable CD player and the latest sounds, medicine for the bouts of nausea, a change of clothes, study Bible, cool shades, camera, film and other assorted oddities. They are then asked to tally up the value of their portable belongings. The assessment usually comes to several hundred dollars per worker.

A question is then asked. “How can you effectively relate to the people whom you will be serving when the contents on your back are equal to or more valuable than what one family will make in a year?” Eyes shift, cheeks get that rosy tinge, and a familiar queasy feeling rises as the wide-eyed optimists realize that serious inequities exist between cultures.

North American cross-cultural workers face a great disconnect. The issue is not only one of wealth and technology, but attitude and commitment. As young (and not so young) missionaries are being sent out from our churches, we need to address the serious problem of relating to a world that is increasingly different from us.

We know the statistics all too well. How can we relate to a village in which the women and children usually have only one meal a day when we come from a culture that is grossly overweight? How can we relate to a national pastor whose people may have only one Bible per family while we church hop until our spiritual cups overflow? How can our youth relate to the twelve-year-old African boy who is most comfortable with his AK-47 while his American counterpart is most comfortable with the latest version of Super Mario? The great divide is only increasing.

Our culture is that of a pain avoidance society. Pain is a bad thing and should be avoided. Headaches require medication. Depression requires chocolate. Marital pain requires divorce.

When that attitude is brought overseas, we react with a similar pain avoidance value. This climate is too oppressive-I need to leave. My coworkers and I are out of sorts-I need to join another team. The persecution is growing in intensity-it’s time to go back to the US.

The rest of the world deals with pain differently. Pain is viewed as an inevitable and natural part of life. Whether it is the pain of hunger, police harassment or terrorist bombings, believers and seekers in much of the world live with and grow through pain. During the dark days of persecution, the Chinese church prayed that God would bring on more pain in order to strengthen their faith.

Jesus declared that kingdom living involves pain, great pain. “And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force”(Matt. 11:12,NASB).

Peter declared that our faith is made strong only through pain. “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Pet. 1:6-7).

In order for the North American church to continue serving Christ in cross-cultural ways, we need to recognize that there is a great disconnect from the rest of the world. That may mean that portions of our missions money goes to support national workers who do not have the disconnect of pain avoidance. When we do send out our sons and daughters, the church needs to help them develop a theology of pain and suffering. When they encounter pain on the field, our sending churches need to allow them to live, grow and minister in the midst of pain. That means that we cannot be quick to ask them to withdraw and leave the field. We need to encourage them to stay if at all possible.

The world of the 21st century will see more AIDS, more terrorism, more corruption. If Jesus is the answer, then his servants must be willing to cross the great divide to stay and minister in the midst of devastating suffering.

Jim Killgore is president and CEO of Advancing Churches in Missions Commitment (ACMC).